In honor of the zombie rhyming joke page, linked by BoingBoing, I offer this (there are 8, in honor of the day):

Q1: What do zombies eat?
A: BRAAAAIIINNNS!!!!!

Q2: What do vegetarian zombies eat?
A: GRAAAAIIIINNNSS!!!!

Q3: What do zombies get on their shirts, first thing in the morning?
A: STAAAIIIINS!!!!

Q4: Why does a zombie’s head get wet?
A: It RAAAAIIIINNNSS!!!!

Q5: How does a zombie play dead?
A: He FEEEIIIGGNNNSS!!!

Q6: What can you find zombie snakes?
A: On a PLAAAANNNE!!!!

Q7: What is a zombie’s favorite ground-based transport??
A: A TRAAAAIINN!!!!

Q8: What is a zombie’s favorite presdiential candidate?
A: Obama.

SexyWife requires me to note that he’s a zombie, not dumb.  I think it’s all the brains (or BRAAAIIINNNSS!!!), they must be some sort of IQ snackfood

The hot thing of the week is my bath water.

I know, sounds all silly, but I have a very real problem. See, I like my bath water hot. Not scalding hot, which is what comes out of our taps normally (not quite as hot as in Charlotte, where I could brew tea with our tap water, but still quite hot). But I like it hot. I take my showers hot, I take my baths hot. Yummy wakefulness-inducing hot water massaging away all the little aches and pains and starting your day right. Or soothing (especially now with the deep water bath my wife got) deep hot water while reading a book.

Now, that’s not the problem. The problem is, we live in an old house, and that house has only one bathroom. As an old house, it has that weird problem where if you flush the toilet, then all the cold water is used up and anyone else using the water (say, taking a shower) is treated to our scalding hot tap water. I could turn down the gas water heater, but like I said, I like my water hot. I don’t want lukewarm just so I don’t get scalded now and again.

And admittedly, the folks I live with don’t usually do things like flush the toilet when I’m taking a shower. But there are three adults (not the most that have lived there, but then this has been a problem for a while now) who have to share the bathroom. And I do like my baths.

So, I’ll take a bath in the evenings at least half an hour, maybe a full hour. Now one of our roommates will patiently wait (I try to check with him before I take a bath), but my wife is less shy. I mean we’ve been together for nine years now, she’s not going to let a little thing like my taking a bath get in the way of things. And that’s not a problem. Maybe it’s TMI to you, but it’s necessary to my story.

The thing is, I’m in my bath, and then she flushes the toilet. And all that scalding water. I mean, I know it was hot before, but now that she’s flushed, it’s scalding hot. And to quote the old commercial “I’m soaking in it.”

So, I just don’t know what to do. I tell her about it, but she doesn’t believe me. I thought about maybe running cold water right before she flushes, but that destroys the hot beforehand, and while things are fine during the normall-scalding phase, once the toilet fills, I’m back in the cold water again.

Anyone have any ideas?

Sorry, don’t have much to say. My brain is busy fixing code, and the non-brain side of me is reading webcomics.

Especially this one.

As an example, I offer this:

Sorry Girl.

HAI

Two things. First, programming in lolcat. Anyone who has read Godel, Escher, Bach knows that it doesn’t take much for a rules system (or program code) to be functional. These guys are close to some workable syntax. And it’s fairly readable, if you know are familiar with the kittehs. Of course, this is helped by the fact that, while lolcats or Cat Macros are broken English and bad spelling, they are largely regimented. It’s always “Hai” for “Hello” or “I can has cheezburger” for the canonical question. If it weren’t so regular, there’d be no way to produce a programming language out of it (much less an interpreter for that language, which I’m sure will come as soon as they settle some more of the syntax).

Also, there have been several perversions of this — proving that no meme goes unchanged, especially popular ones. First there’s the political lolpresidents, both at a wordpress blog, and as a fark photoshopping contest. And secondly (Girl you might like this one, but no gaurantees) someone did LolRocky, which had a few laugh out loud moments for me, most notably, “I can has neck“.

KTHXBAI

There. That’s all I’ll say about that unless something else truly astounding happens. Or SexyWife starts making them, but she’ll probably user her own blog for that.

(just a little adult, it’s short, so click the link)
(more…)

Yesterday, Kit and I were discussing her need for a new term to describe herself to kinky folks. The thing is, if you describe yourself as a “switch” — especially as a woman — the other person will put you in the role they want you to be in, as opposed to the role you want to be in at the moment.

She suggested several words, such as “pliant” (which has a submissive slant to it); I was browsing the free dictionary, and ran across “adaptable” which was too vague, but which did have the meaning “capable of adapting (of becoming or being made suitable) to a particular situation or use.”

That’s when the silly gene kicked in with “Switchuational” — you switch, but it depends heavily on the situation and person, which was the idea she was going with. A nicer way of saying, “Yes I switch, but not with you.”

Feel free to use this word. I expect to be hearing about it on my mailing lists in 3 months!

So, we have these two guys, do basically the same job (one works for the other). They have the same software, but the boss’s floppy drive controller (on motherboard) is going, and we can’t reinstall this software because it’s got a floppy license-key disk — not a problem, really, because we can clone his employee’s drive.

I wanted to give him warning, let him clean up his drive, etc. But he was out yesterday and we’re being pressured to fix this, so we went ahead and cloned it yesterday In the process we found the pictures he had on there — you know the ones of his wife and kids. Early pictures of his kids.

Ones taken while they were being born.

Tomorrow we get the exciting task of installing nudie pictures of his wife on his boss’s computer.
Thankfully, it’s all in his profile/My Documents folder, so we can delete them mercifully unseen

And yeah, I know that birth-pictures and nudie pictures aren’t quite the same thing. Neither really belongs on your PC at work. Not that we have a really restrictive policy — if you could put the picture on your desk, it can be on your desktop, as far as I’m concerned.

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I’ve been writing for over two decades, between porn, short stories, poems and gaming, and one of the things� I hate to do is come up with names for my characters.� I find I have to name them something from the get-go, unless it changes, and sometimes the names drive the creative process in happy ways.

There are serveral nice ones out there, from the simple, to the complex.� My favorite has an “obscurity,” which cycles it through to rarer names form the US Census. Still, I can sit at those for hours, pressing buttons or refresh until I get something that inspires me.

But I think I may have hit upon a solution

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I have in my email two spam messages.� Right now, anyway, I get several hundred a day.� They are ostensibly from Adlai Sharon and Ebony Gray.� If the latter isn’t a porn name, I don’t know what is.�

I’m wondering, can I use these names? I know you aren’t supposed to use the names of real people, although, certainly, most characters in a normal novel will probably be named the same as somebody.� Still, not someone the author knew.� A few years ago an erotica author (or pornographer, natch) got in severe trouble as he used the name of some one called out in one of his classes as the object of torture in one of his pieces.� He just liked her name, and the class reportedly had over a hundred people in it.

Still, he had a moderate connection to a real person.� I’ve got the good idea these aren’t really real people, and if they are, they sent me mail.

I’m thinking I may archive some of the better names to be used as characters later.

Maybe something no one will laugh at.

For once.

Yes I mean you, girls. And you gamer-friend-type people.�